Oh the grand old Duke of York
He had 10,000 men
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.
And when they were up they were up
And when they were down they were down
And when they were only half way up
They were neither up nor down.
One poor chap disappeared
A quick trip to the loo
When he came back he said to the Duke
“Lucky there wasn’t a queue!”
Another chap looked rather ill
He sat down by a tree
All that he wanted was a little lie down
And a nice hot cup of tea
This chap who liked drinking tea
Had a second, a third and then
Before he could think of having a fourth
It was off to the loo again.
There was much complaining
About the Duke of York
And it was even suggested
That frankly he was a dork